What Are You Desperate For?

Part of the daily reading in For The Love of God is from Ezra 9 today.  Ezra is a prophet of God who is ministering after the return from Babylonia exile.  For a great summary that provides some historical background on what’s happening with Israel before and during Ezra’s ministry, check out this great resource from John MacArthur at Grace to You.

In v.v. 6-13, we find a desperate prayer from the prophet Ezra.  Ezra has been absolutely devastated by the news that some of Israel – including some of the priests and Levites – have chosen once again to defy God and break their covenant with Him by inter-marrying with people outside of Israel.  It was a small fraction of the existing Israelites at this time, and for those of us reading today, might seem like a small or unimportant matter. 

In the devotional that accompanies the reading plan, D.A. Carson helps us understand why Ezra’s heart has been rent and has cried out to God in such a desperate way.  Says Carson, “. . . he understands what brought about the exile, the formal destruction of the nation, the scattering of the people. It was nothing other than the sins of the people—and terribly often these sins had been fostered by links, not least marital links, between the people of the covenant and the surrounding tribes. “Because of our sins, we and our kings and our priests have been subjected to the sword and captivity, to pillage and humiliation at the hand of foreign kings, as it is today.”

Ezra is a man who is desperate for the mercy and grace of God.  Ezra is a man who is desperate to see righteousness and holiness flourish in his own life and in the lives of other people.  He is absolutely wrecked by the disobedience of His people.  The desperation of Ezra’s prayer is an incredible model for us in our prayers to God.

Ezra begins his desperate prayer by confessing sin and expressing shame at the sin of his people.  Look at some of the things he says:

I am utterly ashamed . . .

I blush to lift up my face to you . . .

Our guilt has reached to the heavens . . .

In our culture today, and in much of our church culture, such grief and repentance is a foreign concept.  So many of our ideas about God and who we are in relation to Him are so far from what the people of God in Scripture knew to be true about God.  If we talked like this, with this kind of grief and anguish and shame over our sin, we’d be sent to counseling and patted on the head while we hear somebody say, “Cheer up, it’s not that bad.” 

But Ezra, and the men and women of faith in Scripture, were different.  They knew that sin grieves God’s heart and because they were so desperate for the things of God, sin grieved their hearts as well.  Are we this desperate for holiness and righteousness in our own lives?

Next, Ezra expresses his great wonder and thankfulness for the grace and mercy of God.

We have been given a brief moment of grace . . .

The Lord our God has allowed a few of us to survive . . .

He has given us security . . .

Our God has brightened our eyes and granted us relief . . .

In his unfailing love our God did not abandon us . . .

He revived us . . .

He has given us a protective wall . . .

When we come to grips with the depths of how our sin breaks us, destroys us and is an affront to our holy and righteous God, we become all the more desperate for His grace and mercy.  And his grace and mercy are magnified in our lives.

Ezra continues in his prayer of desperation in the same manner.  More repentance and confession, followed by more amazement at the mercy and grace and justice of God. 

I had a fascinating conversation with a friend this week about this.  He was sharing his story with me about how God had delivered him from addiction and a life of utter brokenness and hopelessness.  I shared with him that I so admired his appreciation and love for God’s mercy and grace, and how desperate He was to honor God with his life.  As somebody with a pretty boring testimony, I thank God that he spared me from many of these same things, but I also long to appreciate and be humbled by his grace and mercy in the way that my friend is.  I long to be as desperate to please God and to honor God as my friend, and as Ezra was in his prayer. 

Asking myself what I’m desperate for is something I try to do pretty often.  And it’s something that I encourage others to think about as well.  The truth of the matter is this: when we’re desperate for God, God does great work in our lives.  I should rephrase that.  When we’re desperate for ALL of God, God does great work in our lives. 

And what I mean by ALL of God is this.  God’s holiness.  God’s righteousness.  God’s justice.  God’s mercy.  God’s grace.  God’s love.  God’s Son Jesus Christ.  And God’s presence with us, The Holy Spirit.

So let’s ask ourselves this question: What am I desperate for today?  Am I desperate for ALL of God, or just the parts of God that don’t disrupt and disturb me?  Am I desperate for ALL of God, or just the parts of God that make me feel good and comfortable?