Do You Know Who You Are?

John Calvin, one of the great theologians of the Protestant Reformation, said, ““Without knowledge of self there is no knowledge of God.”

Do you know who you are?

This is a vital for all of us, no matter where we’re at in our spiritual journey.  This is a question I’ve been pondering lately in my time with God.  Despite the appearance that I may sometimes give that I’m very confident and self-assured, I wrestle and struggle with thoughts of self-loathing from time to time; feelings of worthlessness and disappointment with myself; and questions about what God could possibly see in me that would cause Him to love me. 

I bet that many of you struggle with the same thoughts and feelings as well.  Sadly, for many of us, thinking about who we really are can be a dark and depressing place.

When we get to these kinds of dark places in our hearts and minds, the bigger and better question to ask is this: Do you know who God is?  Calvin went on to say, “Without knowledge of God there is no knowledge of self.”  Our understanding of who God is – in his holiness and righteousness; in his love and mercy – really helps us to understand who we are.  As we struggle with and against these thoughts of worthlessness, disappointment and un-loveable-ness (I just made that word up) knowing who God is can really lift the dark veils that cast shadows over our hearts and minds. 

One of today’s readings from For the Love of God Biblereading plan comes from the second chapter of the Gospel of Mark.  I think that Mark 2:13-17 really helps us to see who we are to God and who God is to us.

This section of Scripture begins with Jesus calling Levi, who is commonly believed to be another name for the disciple Matthew, to come and be his disciple.  What really gets my attention here is that Levi is a tax collector.

You and I don’t necessarily like tax collectors, whether they’re at the local, state or federal level.  As a pastor, I’m considered self-employed for tax purposes.  And my wife Jessie is also employed as a contractor in her physical therapy job.  So every 3 months, we’ve got to write three checks for local, state and federal taxes.  Many of you probably just get your taxes withheld, and once in awhile, you’ll look at your pay stub and curse under your breath, as we do every three months.  Most of us loathe the idea of paying taxes.

In Jesus’ day, tax collectors were even more despised, especially by the Jews.  Tax collectors were notorious for their harshness, greed and deception.  Some tax collectors, like Levi, were Jews themselves and were considered among the worst people in the culture.  Those of the Jewish faith had a great disdain for and mistrust of the Roman government to begin with, so a fellow Jew that went to work for Rome and extorted money from his own people was just total and complete scumbag. 

So imagine what it must have been like for a Jew to witness Jesus inviting Levi to be his disciple.  Not only did Jesus invite Levi to be his disciple, he went to Levi’s house for dinner “. . . along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners.”  And not only that, we’re told “There were many people of this kind among Jesus’ followers.”  (v.15)

Are you beginning to see who God is?  Jesus, who is God in human flesh, chooses not only to be in the presence of tax collectors and disreputable sinners, but he invites them to be his disciples and to follow him.  Of course this drove the religious folks nuts.  In v.16 they ask incredulously, “Why does he eat with such scum?” 

Jesus eats with scum because he loves scum.  Jesus eats with scum because he wants the scum to experience the transformation of heart and mind that come from following Him and being his disciple.  Jesus eats with scum because he wants scum to know that in His sight, we’re not scum.  We’re precious and valuable and loved dearly by Him! 

Jesus’ answer to the Pharisees in v.17 is incredible!  “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do.  I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

What does a doctor do?  He or she tries to heal people of disease right?  At least that’s what they’re supposed to do.  When we consider who we are, it’s good to know that our hearts and minds are sick because of our sin and disobedience to God.  The danger to us comes when we allow the guilt of our sin to morph into shame.  Guilt is the realization that what we are doing is sinful, bad and harmful.  It’s the realization that we have things in our lives that separate us from God.  Shame is the wrong belief that because of our sin, we’re worthless and hopeless.  Jesus shows us that we’re not!

Who are you?  Do you know that your heart and mind are sick?  Do you know that you need to be forgiven?  Do you know that you need to change and be transformed?  You see Jesus didn’t just invite these sick, sinful people to come and hang out with him. He invited them on a journey of transformation in becoming like Him.  When we think about who we are and we don’t really like the answer, this is great hope and encouragement for us to hold onto.  Even though we don’t like ourselves and our sin and our brokenness, Jesus loves us in the mess and invites us on this journey of transformation.  When we understand who God is, and begin to see ourselves as He sees us, everything changes.

Ephesians 2:10 tells us this very important truth that is so vital for our hearts and minds: "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

Do you see that?  We are God's masterpiece!  We're not just another thing he made.  We're the very best of what He's ever made!  Although we may feel like scum as we look in the mirror, or believe that we're scum because the world tells us we are, in God's sight we're not.  We're precious and valuable and our worth has been bought with the precious blood of Jesus. 

Realizing our heart sickness and our need for Jesus is where it all begins.  When we see things in ourselves that we loathe and despise, we've got to lay those things at the foot of the cross where the blood of Jesus was shed for the forgiveness of our sins.  We've got to believe that although our lives may be filled with worthless and even terrible things, that we're not worthless to God.  God has great plans for your life!  He wants to do great things in our lives and through our lives!  Things that we can't even begin to ask or imagine yet (Ephesians 3:20)!