Show Me Your Friends and I'll Show You Your Future

Today’s reading from Romans 16 is certainly different than much of what Paul has written in Romans.  Many Biblical scholars and Christian leaders over the centuries have opined that Romans is perhaps the most comprehensive and complete work of the New Testament in helping us to understand the entire Gospel.  It is packed full of deep and significant theology to help us understand sin, salvation and perseverance in our walk with Jesus.

And yet here in Chapter 16, Paul devotes almost the entire chapter to the recognition of other apostles and disciples of Jesus with whom he has deep friendships and relationships.  By my count, he takes the time to specifically mention 27 people that have been influential in his life and ministry.  Not to mention the various mentions of entire households and families.  That’s a lot of people!

Paul was the greatest missionary in history, and yet he knew that he was dependent on the commitment and passion of other believers to help him in continuing the work that he had started.  As I read through Paul’s list of shout outs, there’s not one particular name that stands out to me.  In the rolls of Church history, this is not a list of the who’s who and none of them made it into what many people call the Faith Hall of Fame in Hebrews 11. 

These were just ordinary men and women who loved Jesus and were consumed with a passion to build His Church in the world, and to serve in whatever ways they could according to their giftedness.  It’s certainly something that I understand and appreciate as a pastor of a church full of ordinary people living our lives for an extraordinary God.

This is more than relational sunshine and lollipops though.  There’s a very important life lesson in this for those of us who are trying to follow Jesus faithfully and fully in our lives today. 

I read a quote that a friend on Facebook shared today from Joel Osteen.  “You need to associate with people that inspire you, people that challenge you to rise higher, people that make you better.  Don’t waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth.  Your destiny is too important.”  I know that some of you that know me and have heard me preach might be shocked that I’d share a Joel Osteen quote, but this is so true. 

It’s a principle I’ve seen at work my entire life – not just in ministry, but every day.  You show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.  We become like the people that we allow to influence us the most. 

Some Christians take this to an unhealthy, legalistic extreme and shun a relationship with anybody that’s not a Christian.  Paul didn’t do this, and we shouldn’t either.  We are commanded by Jesus to be salt and light in the world, not to retreat into holy huddles all the time.  But this is about who we allow to have the most influence in our lives.  

Think about your 5 closest friends, the people with whom you “do life.”  Do they have the characteristics of somebody that loves Jesus and loves The Church?  Are they like Paul’s friends? 

Are they like Phoebe, who has been a great help to many people in the cause of the Kingdom of God?

Are they like Priscilla and Aquilla, people who work first and foremost for Jesus and who are willing to risk their lives for you?

Are they like Andronicus and Junias, who loved Jesus and His Church so much that they were willing to risk prison and are outstanding witnesses to Jesus?

This is a list of friends and fellow laborers for the Kingdom who have outstanding faith, exhibited by sacrificial character and commitment to building The Church.

You see, I am where I am in my life because I’ve always made a conscious decision to surround myself with these types of people.  When I was a new Christian – about 17 or 18 years old – a Christian adult that I trusted told me, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”  He was so right!  I’ve had to walk away from a lot of situations and some relationships in the 20+ years I’ve been a follower of Jesus because I knew that those situations and relationships would drag me down.  I have many relationships with people who aren’t Christians, or aren’t as committed to Christ as I might be, so that I might be this kind of person in their lives.  But I’m careful to not allow their opinions and lifestyles to change who God has called me to be. 

Are these the kinds of friends that you have in your life?  Are you spending time with people who encourage you to grow in your faith; who challenge and inspire you to take risks for God, or are you spending time with people who drag you down?  Are you allowing others to speak into your life who are mature in the faith and encouraging your personal spiritual growth, or are you making decisions by taking polls on Facebook or from people who know nothing of what it means to be committed to Christ?

If you want to grow and fulfill your God-ordained destiny and calling in your life, it’s time to check your friends and the people that you’re allowing to have the most influence in your life.  I thank God that my closes friends challenge me and inspire me.  I thank God that there are people in my life who encourage me in my faith. I hope you have some of the same kinds of friends.